Who is gonna save you when I'm gone?

"Do it for your own good. Not for others."

He sounded so assured for her future well-being, as he said those words to her in a composed tone. It made him seem rather serious, like his usual talks with her whenever they talk about the issue. She stared back at him, wondering how it would be like when he is gone after this.

"No worries. You'll make it through."

What follows was that of a tiny smile on his face - rather, a smirk. "Okay, so it's not that easy. Cliched words like that can be so fucked up. But I've talked to you about this so many times already. It's been... almost, 12 years. Now, that's such a long time."

She had no word to say. He had only said the truth, anyway. It had always been about the same thing ever since the past 12 years in the world of non-existence. It was a crutch for her problems before, until it became a real problem that she was depending on it instead of truly helping herself. A crutch can only be temporary, it cannot stick around forever. If you do not try to walk on your own two feet, you will never fully heal.

The issue was never really stagnant. It had its own developments. But it was not good enough within the span of 12 years until the present moment that she is now, what you can call, a proper adult. The two of them had been talking about it all this time, trying to see where they can pick things up and amend them. She had gone through and passed by a long, winding road using fantasy as a crutch, and it can no longer go on that way.

"As a human, you are the only one who can be responsible for yourself. So, stop giving me further excuses, and really just move on already."

She knew it. Even she was beginning to get tired of herself.

I hereby leave you all the things I can give you to help you out - or otherwise known as 'advice' but I do not consider myself a good advice giver though. Still I think this should be useful for you. Ah, I can be so ironic but whatever.

It's about time. Don't ruin your life anymore. Remember though, when all people in the world fail you, you know you have tried your best (provided that you did) and He will always be with you and won't fail you. So don't worry about people. You have done enough worrying already. Stop trying to fix the world, you can't do everything for everyone.

Let us just try to live good, proper lives.

She could hear a song in her head, while he politely stood up and started to walk away to leave, permanently.

"Leaves are on the ground
Fall has come
Blue skies turning grey
Like my love

I tried to carry you
And make you whole
But it was never enough
I must go."

[excerpt from Alter Bridge - Watch Over You]

He'll save you. You just need to have faith and literally try your best.

everything

"What does sorry for everything mean, I still wonder?" Lynn said to herself.

There had been countless arguments without a proper understanding of how they actually began and the reasons that caused them. Looking back, it was as if there just had to be an argument within a certain period to stir things up between them, although all she wanted was just to calmly be like normal friends with him as he was with the others. What was it, a routine just between the two of them?

For the last argument, Jason apologised to her, saying sorry for everything.

I wonder if you know what that everything is. Even I don't know what you mean by it. Since we never really knew what we were sorry for to amend for, so causing another argument eventually without knowing the real reason of why it happened...

Knowing the kind of person he is, she knew he would not give her a direct answer if asked directly.

"Well, with this, I guess we won't argue anymore. We probably won't see each other anymore. Who knows, right?" she said to herself again, looking on, as Jason disappears from sight.

hope you'll be happy someday, my friend.

It's always been about you, hasn't it?

"Eh?"

She wore her typical smile. It was not a smirk or anything, there was no intention of harm from her in any way.

As Jason was also helping out to unpack the boxes and take the books out of the boxes as volunteer work for charity, alongside his friend Lynn, he went blinking his eyes a few times at what she said, pausing everything he was doing for a split second. No replies. Then he went on with what he was doing.

Lynn rearranged the last books from what seemed like the last box of used books to be donated for charity.

She turned to Jason before leaving as her task seemed to be done.

"Well, hope you'll be happy someday, my friend. Sayonara."

She smiled, and left.

hm!

A few more thoughts come about and hey, instead of going ahead with the previous story or anything like it, I figured I'd let this blog be about my short writings instead, with posts that need not be related to one after another as if I am writing a novel with so many chapters!

I got reminded of a friend from Ausmat 18 who told me about her disinterest in anime, that she had no interest to watch it since it has so many episodes that go on and on and on that would make her anxious to wait for the next episodes to watch! So she prefers stuff like, I dunno, movies? 2-hour comedy or drama? Basically things without so many continuations, since waiting for the upcoming episodes is annoying for her :P

(I understand how that felt, actually! Back then when I really loved certain dramas or even soap operas, :P)

So let the short writings begin!

Err, soon, not yet :)